This just in, I am the recipient of a very prestigious award and $1.4 million in cash for actions I have yet to take! Oh wait, that's not me, that's someone else. On to the news!
As Alluded to in the Headline...: President Barack Obama wins the Nobel Peace Prize for...something? Let's see; the US is still in two wars, Iran and North Korea continue to jerk the world around over their respective nuke programs, there's no peace in the Middle East, and the Iranian election protesters were summarily quashed after the Nobel laureate offered them little to no moral support. Now that's Change We Can Believe In!
Speaking of Peace...: Iran threatened to 'blow up the heart of Israel' if the US or Jewish state attacks Iranian nuclear sites which, as you may know, are being used to produce nuclear bombs that will...blow up the heart of Israel. Talk about being between a rock and a hard place. Then again, Iran can't even photoshop missiles properly, much less launch them. Zing!
Sweden Back to its Old Ways: After awarding the Nobel Prize for Chemistry to Israeli scientist Ada Yonath, the Swedes returned to their old, anti-Semitic ways when they voiced support for the United Nations blood libel on Operation Cast Lead, better known as the Goldstone Report. As you may recall, the Goldstone Report accuses Israel of war crimes for acting in self defense after 8 years of Hamas rockets directed at Israeli civilians. As you may also remember, the Swedes published that ludicrous article about the IDF harvesting Palestinian organs.
More Arab Riots in East Jerusalem: Israel restricts access to al-Aksa mosque on the Temple Mount to prevent rioting and gets...rioting. Again, talk about being stuck between a rock and a hard place. Muslims rioted and injured 11 Israeli policemen after Friday prayers in East Jerusalem. Thousands more Muslims protested in the Gaza Strip and Syria as well, injuring no one but themselves, I'm sure. No need to fear, though. I'm certain President Obama and his new designation of "Peacemaker-at-Large" will be able to sort all this out.
That's it for this week. I'll be taking part in 'MTV Cribs: Thomas Jefferson' this weekend at Monticello. Wish me luck dealing with the early 19th century re-enactors!